If a cow ever got the chance...

And...

A thief comes in the night and steals 87 bullets, 321 pounds of food, and 2 wagon axles.

And...

From the animals you shot, you got 1494 pounds of food, but you could only carry 100 pounds back to the wagon.

400 bonus points to anyone who knows what I'm quoting (I'm not delirious, honest), which will probably be no one since as far as I know no members of my immediate family are reading this...

I really do have a fever though. 100.5 at the last reading. Now am sinking into that almost-but-not-quite-pleasant achy feeling, under two down comforters, drinking orange juice and radiating baby-dragon heat. It's not so bad to be mildly sick. If this improves overnight I'll go to work rejoicing in my newly restored health--deep down I'm an honest person--but if not, I'll feel no conscience pangs whatsoever at staying home eating cherry popsicles and watching half a season of The Sopranos. It's a win-win situation.

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