If a cow ever got the chance...

Finally... a real design for my tiny diary. I have jessieescola to thank. She had it lying around in cyberspace, it seems. I may change some of the images later, but I am so exhausted right now from wrestling with my rudimentary html skills that I must lie down first.

I wanted to talk about last night but I can't find a way to lead in to the story. Too much background required. So I will just apologize (here, where none of them will see it) to the people I never call back. The phone terrifies me, actually. People call and leave messages and I tell myself I will call them back, because they are my friends, after all, but I don't. Sometimes if I have a few drinks first, I do call them, and we have a lovely conversation, and I remember that I like them and that they seem to like me, and I tell myself I will be more proactive in the future about conversing with people, but it doesn't last. Usually I just let the message fester for a few days, then a few weeks, then a couple months and it's too late to call, and whatever tenuous connection there was has been broken (or seriously weakened, depending on its original strength) and I wonder what my problem is. This has happened with like five or six different people in the past year, including various badass new acquaintances whom I told I would call but never did. (it's not just the phone, e-mail is the same way)

Exceptions: I generally call outgrabe back because he just calls and hangs up loudly and I see it on the caller id and am curious to find out if he's pissed off at me (we are both extremely volatile people and are annoyed with each other about thirty percent of the time, though oddly, never at the same time or for the same reason). I generally call D"NMN"R back; also, he is one of the few people with whom I initiate telephone tag. I call C back because after six years of talking to him every day at least once and sometimes more, it seems weird not to. There are more reasons but I have to go elsewhere now.

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