If a cow ever got the chance...

This is sort of a continuation of the previous rant, so read that first.

I damn near quit shopping at Dominick's (the large chain grocery store near my house) because of their new policy. Background: they have "Fresh Values" cards for the cashier to swipe before they start ringing up your purchases. Everyone who shops there has one because they are ridiculously easy to get and you can save a fair amount of money by having one. Anyway, using this card when you check out causes your first and last names to print out on the receipt. Now--and this is so obviously some middle management guy's brainstorm for how to show customer appreciation and bring back the personal interaction--when the cashier hands you your receipt she is supposed to Make Eye Contact and Thank You Personally By Name. You can just see the directive being handed down in some monthly employee meeting...

In practice it works like this. You are all set to take your tampons and fake vegan sausage patties and discounted Valentine's Day candy hearts (to which, if you are me, you have an embarrassing addiction) and head home, when this poor exhausted sullen fifteen-year-old cashier stares at your receipt for 20 seconds and, looking at the conveyor belt, recites "Howdoyoupronounceyourlastname, Mrs. Vine...Vineys..." [a pathetic approximation of my surname, which is four letters long and means "conqueror" in German!] and then (mindful of the manager's Prime Directive) waits for you to correct her...

So then I'm torn between two alternatives. I quite like my surname and wince in pain every time I hear it butchered in this fashion. But am I really going to correct it for the sake of an accurate start to our new personal friendship? While there are eight people behind me in line? I think not. So I just say Yes to whatever insincere horror she's come up with and trudge away with my bags, feeling somehow unclean. (What I would like to say when she says "Howdoyoupronounceyourlastname?" is "It doesn't matter," but that's way too bitchy, since it's clearly not her fault and she's only trying to not get fired...

Like I said, there is too much fake personal interaction in this world. If you don't know me, then don't bandy my name about as though we're old pals. And if you do know me, why are you trying to prove it? Just say whatever you wanted to say, since I will probably remember that we know each other and how we came to do so in the first place... (and if you do know me, that means that we probably communicate in a weird verbal shorthand that, some days, seems to be composed mainly of clicks and whistles and the occasional grunt...)

I realize that there are more important things to be upset about, but the Daniel Pearl thing saddens me more than I can say and I'd rather write about petty annoyances for which I have a rational explanation.

<<|>>

You might have missed...

wah - 2005-03-14 - 9:24 a.m.

Let's review - 2005-03-07 - 7:29 p.m.

- - 2005-03-02 - 1:07 a.m.

yay? - 2005-02-16 - 5:53 p.m.

all apologies - 2005-02-15 - 5:56 p.m.