If a cow ever got the chance...

Aaaarghhhh just lost half my entry because I was trying to make a word bold and hit the wrong key with my thumb... there is a staggering amount of poppyseeds and pretzel crumbs and lemon sugar syrup (don't ask) in this keyboard... the arrow keys don't really work anymore...

Anyway, I was on the phone with my friend The Amazing Vasily for a couple hours last night. I'm madly in love with him. He just got back from two years in the Peace Corps (Kyrgystan, teaching English and drinking a hell of a lot of tea), is fluent in three languages (Russian, English, and Kyrgyz) and conversant in Uzbek and Turkish. He's spending this summer and fall in Montana as a sheep herdsman--no people or roads for miles around, just twelve hundred sheep, a dog, a horse, a rifle for scaring coyotes away, and many many stars. The only human contact he will have is when the ranch's owner brings him his mail and canned goods once a week. The Amazing Vasily is easily the least cynical person I know, and is so unabashedly, endearingly dorky that he quotes Walt Whitman in public and worries about missing his sister's college graduation. So yes, I have a little crush, despite the fact that we've known each other for years and are so not each other's type.

Chuck was supposed to come over today, but was too hung over. We had a lovely snowed-in weekend watching The Godfather again and making banana bread and eating salad and yes--drinking whiskey--but now are fighting about the hangover thing. He seemed sad about not coming over but very proud of how much he was able to drink last night before passing out... it's not a story that particularly interests me anymore...

I am wondering how physically addictive alcohol is. With nicotine, if you start smoking a pack a day, it's not too long before you NEED to smoke a pack a day regardless of how you feel about it. If you're polishing off a fifth of Jim Beam rye in three days, does that automatically make you an alcoholic (in the physiological sense)? I do not know. Not that my own consumption is particularly dainty--I've handled my share of those bottles of whiskey... but I'm not sitting here bragging to you about how much I can drink and telling you amusing stories of what I did when I was drunk and making plans to acquire cases (literally) of rye in Wisconsin for cheap... or maybe I am. I don't know. Is it hypocritical to say I'm worried about Chuck and I think he drinks too much, when I drink just about as much and am a willing participant in those Wisconsin plans? Am I just trying to draw a line between him and me? I do honestly feel that I could stop drinking at any time. And that it wouldn't affect my life very much at all--I would spend less money and it would keep me out of smoky bars (although it would make some social situations slightly awkward)... I don't think the boyfriend could say that. Alcohol is a major part of his life.

I wish he'd stop fucking around and just go back to school already... it's all the more annoying because I understand perfectly well why he doesn't, and why he just sits around drinking and being a part-time cable guy... his fears are my fears and our ambitions are equally on hold. this does not, however, stop me from wanting to punch him in the back of the head.

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