If a cow ever got the chance...

The apartment must know I plan to flee, because things are suddenly falling apart. For one thing, as of sometime yesterday I no longer have phone service. (So how can I be posting this? you ask. Very clever. The answer is, I don't have a clue in hell. The modem works. The cord leading from the phone jack to the modem works, as do the caller ID, answering machine, and their respective cords. When you disconnect all that stuff and plug the phone directly into the jack, you get nothing. When you plug in the new cheap-ass five-dollar phone I got at the drugstore today, you still get nothing. When you give up and plug the modem back in, you get nice bouncy computer noises and a real live connection. When you try all possible permutations of phones, devices, and cords, you still end up with a working modem and a non-working phone. I am baffled and lonely.)

This is the kind of thing I always needed C for. I actually never knew (or never bothered to figure out, until last night) what all those cords led to or how one even connects an answering machine in the first place. For three years this corner of the room has been one big dustball-infested fire hazard. When confronted with anything the least bit mechanical or electronic (levers, pulleys, other simple machines), I either start wringing my hands in frustration or become narcoleptic with boredom. Not very feminist, huh? I need to actually grow up a little bit and not have C or The Engineer take care of these things for me.

Anyway, that reminded me of the best quote of all time--Johnny Depp being interviewed in Sassy magazine, circa 1989:

"I thought I might have had it [narcolepsy] at one point in my life, but I found out that I was really just rather bored."

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