If a cow ever got the chance...

So for the last two weeks, my building manager has been showing my apartment at least four times a day... you do the math. It is driving me right up every wall in this place. They want 75 bucks a month more than I'm paying right now, which is about a hundred more than it's worth. Don't get me wrong, I loved my little apartment and was generally happy here, but when I moved in I had no bed, no couch, and no chairs except a 30-dollar black loungey thing from Ikea, consisting of stretchy cloth draped over a metal frame. For the first six months I was here, the living room furniture consisted of this chair, a telephone, and a bottle of whiskey. (DNR can attest to this.) If you were a real person with actual furniture, you would not want this apartment. It does have a lovely big kitchen, but I am told most people don't especially care about that.

It's hard for me to yell at the building manager, cause she's a nice person. She doesn't seem to know what she's doing, but she's nice and she knows the apartment is priced too high and that she'll end up renting it for a hundred dollars less than the current asking price, sometime around October 15th. Her boss is apparently unbending on the price.

Today's scene: 1 p.m., me, a little hung over, drinking lemonade out of a Riedel goblet (classy!) cause it was the only glass that was clean, pondering how I will hide all my papers under the bed before the next wave of apartment showings. (started cleaning out my desk, never finished). Knock on the door. Me: I thought you weren't showing until 3. Her: No, it was 1 to 3.

I know this is a lie or else she is very mistaken or else it got changed, because I have an envelope with "Saturday, 3, 3:30, 4, 4:30" written on it. Still, what can I do. I go sit on the steps while annoying girl with loud voice spends approximately 30 seconds inside the apartment, saying "This is just STANDARD. I'm looking for something 'ABOVE AND BEYOND', you know?" I hate when you can hear the ironic quotation marks within people's sentences. Then, as they brush past me on the way out, she says, "You don't have any NEWER buildings, do you? Ones that have NEVER BEEN LIVED IN?" Which, you know, I resent, because I had pants on. I wasn't lying there in my own filth.

Anyway, not in the literal sense.

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