If a cow ever got the chance...

Possibly you need too much context to understand why this is funny... or maybe it isn't funny. But here goes...

My grandma is probably the most strong-willed member of our family, which is saying a lot. Luckily, she generally uses her powers for good and not evil. As an example, she works forty hours a week at a seed company, sorting potatoes and such, partially so she can have money to give to the grandchildren. We have all been coached not to take it, since after all she is old and works much harder than we do. However, one inevitably buckles under the threat of her wrath, and she really would become wrathful if one did not take the money (also, one could really use twenty bucks). Lately she has resorted to creative stratagems, like giving it to C to give to me; this backfired because he just kept it...

Anyway, another facet of this is that she always tries to pay for restaurant meals, hotels, etc. My siblings and I were always amused to watch Dad and Grandma fight about who was going to pay the check. We'd wonder if all adults were this dumb: "Why doesn't he just let her pay it?" So that's the context.

Last winter's multigenerational road trip consisted of my dad, my grandma, and my sister, the Pinoid (origins of nickname lost in the mists of history). Supposedly they fought the entire way about who would pay for motels, restaurants, gas, the Christmas ham, and (eventually, somewhere in Tennessee) Waffle House. Having just lost several skirmishes, my grandma was adamant as they pulled into the parking lot: if my dad wouldn't agree to let her pay for the Waffle House breakfast, she was just going to sit in the car the entire time, not even go in. Fine. Fine! My dad and the Pinoid get out of the car, go into the restaurant, sit down.

He held out for about five minutes before going back out to get her and agreeing to let her pay. I don't think the coffee was even poured yet.

Sucker.

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