If a cow ever got the chance...

Johnnie Walker Red on the rocks: 4 or 5

People I met for the first time tonight: 2

People I met for the first time tonight and liked: 2

References to farmer background: 3

References in above category that make it sound like Jeff Foxworthy is my brother: 1

Cigarettes: 500

Discussion of my life as an editron: 2

Discussion of how I broke my liver (includes public demonstration of how I can do the splits): thankfully, none tonight

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