If a cow ever got the chance...

C. is snoring like a drugged elephant. This is good, since it means he may not remember our erotic interlude from last night, in which I clambered into bed and the following dialogue ensued:

C: What in god's name were you eating?

Veg: Delicious cabbage salad! [ingredients: green cabbage, carrot, red onion, cilantro, mint, soy sauce, sugar, and lemon juice]

C: Really? It smells somehow dead, and spicy. Simultaneously. It's like the worst thing ever.

V: But cabbage is so innocuous! It's green and living!

C: (angry snores)

At which point (although it was unrelated to the previous conversation) I realized I was wearing pajamas composed of men's long underwear top and bottom, size 2XL. And socks. Combine that with the cabbage breath and I may possibly be the least erotic person on the planet.

I am going to Frederick's of Hollywood today. Methinks I need some red lace see-through panties.

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