If a cow ever got the chance...

The problem is I actually have too much to say. I have to get in the habit of actually typing and posting an entry, rather than writing it in my head right before I go to sleep and having no idea what it was about the next morning... there have been about six phantom entries since the last one i posted...

"Chuck" (the significant other) is coming back on Tuesday. He's been in Guatemala for a month visiting relatives. Since he's been gone I've regressed tremendously and I'm really enjoying it. (Background: i'm almost three years out of college. chuck and i have been dating off and on for six years but we didn't go to the same school. after graduation i moved to chicago, where he was living. therefore, the last time we were apart for any significant length of time was when i was in college.) Hence, my triumphant regression. all of a sudden I'm smoking again, got my hair streaked crayola red yesterday, listening to R.E.M's first album over and over, even writing a little bit (this diary)... I feel 19 again, except without the suicidal impulses and wild mood swings. it's kind of nice to pretend.

i don't know what this says about the relationship with chuck. he is family at this point. he knows what i mean before i say it. no one else has ever gotten so far inside my head. Unfortunately dating him is a lot like dating a sibling, except without the incestuous thrill... we spend entire saturdays lying on the futon watching bad tv, occasionally extending our pseudopods in the direction of food. we don't even go to movies anymore.

The biggest problem is--I don't like to admit this--deep down, I think I'm smarter than him. By quite a bit. It isn't true. we scored the same on our ACTs, if you think that measures anything. his intelligence is all in fixing things and taking things apart (generally computers) and mine is more verbal. I also have more education than he does and I am capable of being a complete snot about that...

did I mention that chuck is absolutely gorgeous? he looks a little bit black but mostly Mayan Indian, and he has long wavy shiny black hair down to his ass. women stop him on the street and ask if they can touch it. However, he doesn't register that they're hitting on him BECAUSE:

1)he's a total fucking nerd (a plus where I'm concerned)

2) he is loyal, faithful, and monogamous by nature rather than by convention... unlike me...

that's all i want to say about The Relationship for now.

<<|>>

You might have missed...

wah - 2005-03-14 - 9:24 a.m.

Let's review - 2005-03-07 - 7:29 p.m.

- - 2005-03-02 - 1:07 a.m.

yay? - 2005-02-16 - 5:53 p.m.

all apologies - 2005-02-15 - 5:56 p.m.