If a cow ever got the chance...

Green Lentils with Roasted Beets and Preserved Lemon

(this is basically a Deborah Madison recipe, which she credits to someone named Greg Tanis in Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone--I messed with the proportions a lot though)

5 gigantic beets--one purple, one vampire white, 3 pink-and-white-striped Chioggias, because that's what they gave me in this week's vegetable box

Wrap these in aluminum foil, preferably last night, and roast at 400 F for three times longer than the cookbook says (it took me an hour and a half), until tender.

2 cups French lentils (the green-and-black variegated ones that hold their shape post-cooking. Ideally you should have looked for these in the yuppie river north Whole Foods on your lunch hour [where you suddenly remember that you haven't gotten a haircut since May and two buttons are missing from your coat], and then Fox and Obel after work, where you got the very last package. Because you are a food snob, so god forbid you should use REGULAR organic green lentils.)

Like 4 carrots

1 onion

2 bay leaves

Handful of parsley

"Thyme sprigs"

Put all of this in a stock pot, bring to a boil, then simmer about 30-35 minutes until tender.

Meanwhile:

Make 2 recipes Lemon Vinaigrette: 1/4 cup lemon juice, 2 tsp lemon zest, 1 minced shallot, 1 minced garlic clove because the shallot was tiny, salt and pepper to taste. Deborah wants you to use 10 tbsp olive oil in this, but I am blimpy enough right now, so like 2 tbsp.

Think about starting on black-eyed peas with collard greens for lunch tomorrow and the rest of the week; feel overwhelmed. Open bottle of red wine about here.

Put in very large bowl: cooked drained lentils, beets (chopped), vinaigrette, big handful chopped parsley, 1/4 cup chopped fresh mint, 2 preserved lemons (diced, skin and pulp).

(I just discovered preserved lemons and they are AMAZING. You can get them at Middle Eastern groceries [at least that's where I got mine]. They're lemons cured with salt, citric acid, and saffron until they shrink to about 1/4 the size and become the flavor I have been missing all my life.)

Toss everything to mix. Chop another preserved lemon and add it, because what the hell. More salt and pepper to taste.

Eat three bowls while retreating to bedroom to write entry. Try not to think about hideous mess in kitchen. Tell self to wash dishes.

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