If a cow ever got the chance...

Thanks, MigraineGirl, for the survey, which has helped me to at least get my lousy recent entry off the index page... also for inspiring me to listen to "Life's Rich Pageant" again...

Fifteen years ago I:

1. Was about to become the runner-up in the Wisconsin State Spelling Bee, for which I won $100. More importantly, I got a hug from the winner, one Eric Johnson from Bonduel, Wisconsin, in the hallway outside the auditorium as our families were leaving. He was at least 2 1/2 feet taller than me but he leaned down to put his arm around me and say, "I know you'll win it next year." Which I totally failed to do, but am still a little bit in love with him despite that.

2. Was exhibiting beef cattle at various fairs around the state, with mixed results.

3. Had exactly four friends.

4. Was frightened of Wednesdays.

5. Was really skinny.

Ten years ago I:

1. Was about to become the runner-up in the Wisconsin State Spelling Bee for the second time. The girl who beat me went on to win the Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee, in Washington, D.C. At the time this was the tragedy of my life...

2. Had just read Natalie Goldberg's writing manual Writing Down The Bones and was producing some crapulent poetry that was nevertheless leaps and bounds beyond anything I'd done before. For one thing, it didn't rhyme.

3. Had exactly one friend.

4. Had a weird, frizzy, sort-of-triangular perm.

5. Was doing word unscrambles IN TEAMS in ninth-grade English class instead of reading actual books. The English teacher had a major in shop and a minor in English, which explains a few things.

Five years ago I:

1: Had just broken up with Outgrabe and was really fucked up about it. Continued to send him suicidal e-mails.

2. Had broken up with C the year before, but was not particularly fucked up about it. Continued to send him suicidal e-mails.

3. Was sleeping with an average of two (different) people per week.

4. Was cutting my arm up, but it was more for attention than anything else. I still have the scars and they kind of piss me off.

5. Was living off Maruchan Ramen Spicy Oriental Flavored noodles and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, as I had a phobia about going to the college dining hall.

Two years ago I:

1. Was actively looking for a new employer, as my automobile-warranty-financing/customer-service job had become completely intolerable.

2. Started speaking to Outgrabe again.

3. Bought C a gold ring with an inset ruby, which he never wears.

4. Realized that I really like my parents.

5. Was not writing.

One year ago I:

1. Was trying to decide if I should move out of my current tiny but well-maintained, secure, and close-to-public-transportation apartment.

2. Had been employed at my current job (in publishing) for about ten months.

3. Had about $6500 in credit-card debt.

4. Realized that I like my brother, the Engineer, and my sister, the Pinoid.

5. Was not writing.

Yesterday I:

1. Slept in (which for me is about 9:30 a.m.).

2. Had kale with red potatoes and caramelized onions for lunch.

3. Smoked three cigarettes.

4. Saw Gosford Park for the second time with my only friend from the customer service job, an extremely intense anthropology major who is trying to make enough money to live in Europe forever.

5. Washed the dishes!

Today I:

1. Shut off my alarm while still asleep (this is an inference) and woke up half an hour before I'm supposed to be at work (I have a 45-minute commute).

2. Had raging PMS and was a general bitch to everyone around me.

3. Incorporated the author's comments on the galley proofs of a faux-literary book about divorce.

4. Went to this really good Afghan restaurant in the suburbs with C.

5. Made a carrot, raisin, and banana curry, used garam masala because I didn't have curry powder.

Tomorrow I:

1. Will be on the train by 7:05. Yeah.

2. Will do the second half of this survey and post it.

3. Will keep reading "Borrowed Time" by Paul Monette, whom I find really compelling despite the fact that his prose leaves a lot to be desired.

4. Will make black-bean soup and steamed broccoli for supper.

5. Will almost undoubtedly talk to D(NMN)R, C, and the Pinoid.

I know part of the fun of this survey is that it's supposed to form a coherent narrative that shows your progress and how the past has influenced you up to the present day, but I'm really, really tired...

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